He Knows Your Heart

I had a good, long phone conversation with a friend yesterday.  It was good to catch up with her.


Something she said, though, got me to thinking - got me to think about how I talk to others, especially within the framework of the church and gospel.


By her own admission, this friend was a spiritual child, one who knew of God and had tasted of his goodness from a very early age.  Her parents broke up and divorced when she was in elementary school, and her mom kept physical custody of her.  She saw her dad on Tuesdays and Sundays, the only days available to spend time with him.


When she was twelve, a member of her bishopric asked why she hadn't been going to church on Sunday and primary on Tuesdays (this was in the 1970s, before the three hour block schedule we now have).  She told him that those were the only days she could spend time with her dad.  He then asked, well-meaning, I'm sure, what was more important - to spend time with her dad or go to church.


What would your answer be?


Her answer was that she felt it more important to spend time with her father.  He, the member of the bishopric, told her that the right answer should have been church.


Since that time, my friend has not returned to church, now doubts her testimony and has since engaged in some pretty self-destructive behavior.


It's this situation, and others like it I've both learned about and experienced for myself, that leads me to wonder what we inadvertently do to each other when we interact with others.  Because he made my friend, only twelve at the time, make a decision between family and church, he poisoned her thinking about what the gospel is supposed to be about.  Well meaning as he was, the damage was done.


Now, I'm a firm believer that, as we age and grow and mature, we must take ownership of our own decisions when we can (there are a host of situations the Lord is aware of where we may not be able to do that - our past, addictions, decisions and hurts forced upon us by others) - but you can see how easy it would be for a child, faced with the choices my friend was given, to grow up doubting the tender mercies of the Lord through His servants.


So, yeah, this got me thinking a lot.  It's helped me to see that I really need to be careful in how I talk to others, especially in the framework of the gospel.  We're all different.  We've all had different trials and family situations. Not one of us is exactly alike.


Therefore, I will try my best to see others as Heavenly Father sees them. I will try to refrain from unrighteous judgement and remember that He, God alone, knows their hearts.


And, in the meantime, I will pray for mercy to be with all of us, no matter our background, our upbringing or our situation now.


I hope you have a good Sabbath, full of His peace, love and grace.




Bro H.

Right Place - Right Time

One of my favorite lessons from the scriptures is that I want to be an instrument in the Lord's hands.


Sometimes that brings visions of grandeur.  Wanting to give every homeless person a warm, comfortable place to sleep.  Wanting to fill every hungry child's belly.  Wanting to save the world.


To be His instrument in these specific cases would require monumental resources that I just don't have.  Mother Teresa had it right when she said, "Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love."


True enough.


I need to remind myself that sometimes the Lord doesn't need a backhoe, but a small digging tool.  He doesn't always require me to be a wood chipper, but rather a small hatchet.  He hasn't yet asked me to be the Sun, but He has asked me to be a sunbeam and to let my light shine.


Twice within the past 24 hours, He has asked me to help out in very small and simple ways.  Last night, the missionaries were trying to visit someone upstairs who wasn't home.  One of the elders needed to use a bathroom, and couldn't wait until he got back to his apartment.  I overheard him telling this to his companion so I invited them in.  He was very grateful, and relieved.


This morning, I happened to be outside when I saw a poor old gentleman digging through the Dumpster looking for aluminum cans.  I gave him two bags that I had collected from drinking soda at home.  There were almost tears in his eyes as he gently took them and said, "Gracias, papa".


Did I save the world?  No.  Did I help someone in a very small and simple way that helped move them forward?  Yes.


It's good to know I can make a difference in someone's day just by being in the right place at the right time.




Bro. H.  

Lead this Sheep

From my journal today:


Feeling good today. I love having the quiet time in the mornings in which to feed my spirit. Read Ether chapters 4 and 5. The Spirit pointed out to me that the phrase "lifted up" is significant to me.

The scriptures talk about being lifted up to dwell in the Kingdom of God. To me, this means it (the kingdom) is out of my natural reach. In order for me to reach it, I still must do all I can, but I will always fall short. I may climb and jump all I want, but unless Christ lifts me up to it, I will never be able to attain or reach it. No matter how hard I try, and try I must, it is utterly out of my own natural reach.

Also this morning, I was listening to "The Lord is my Shepherd" and realized a very helpful visualization. I picture myself walking on a path by still waters, green grass and just generally a very peaceful place in nature. I picture Christ leading me as He would a sheep, but also walking beside me with His arm around my shoulder, helping me and guiding me.

It was so peaceful!


***
Enjoy your day!


Bro H.

My "Last" Testimony

What I would say if I could only give you one last message.


Bro. H.

Sometimes You Feel Like A Nut

Recently, I've been struggling with some advice a priesthood leader gave me.  I won't go into details here, because first and foremost, I take seriously the sustaining vote I gave him, and still give him.


I think we all struggle, from time to tine, with the well-meant advice others give to us.  Maybe it's just because of my exposure to the LDS culture, but maybe it goes beyond us Mormons.  The advice I want to discuss in this post has been given to me and to others I know.  Depending on how it's given, who it's given to, and where we are in life when we receive it, this advice can be either very helpful or very damaging.


I'm talking about those times when we feel down, depressed or have other mental or emotional issues that are very real and affect our lives in extremely profound ways.

And the advice?


"Get out and serve others."


Now, I heartily believe that service is critical to us as individuals, us as a people and us as the human race.  Selfless service to others does indeed help the server feel blessed and helps the served receive blessings of accepting service.


However, when one is clinically depressed or has a chemical imbalance or is at the point mentally, emotionally and physically where they need professional help, this advice can sound trite and trivial.  It compounds both our illness and our feelings of guilt.


Again, there is nothing wrong with service - or with the injunction to serve others as we have the means and can actually do some good.


But, if we don't have the means (and that means both financially, time-wise and mentally), then what?


I think we can take a lesson from the great King Benjamin in the Book of Mormon.  He told us we should give freely of our resources to the poor.  But, he also followed that up with the caution that we do not give beyond our means.  He said if we cannot give, we should say within our hearts that we would give if we could.


The same goes with service.


How often have I been guilty of saying or even thinking that if they (whoever is suffering) would just get up and out and serve, they would be fine?


Would I say that to someone who is having a heart attack?  Would I say it to someone who has a compound fracture?  NO!  So why in the world would I say it to someone who has an infirmity that is every bit as real and physical as someone needing CPR or a splint?


Exactly.  Sounds dumb, right?


So, starting today, I'm going to try to really think before I speak.  And I will pray for us all to serve when we can - when we honestly have the means, and let God be the judge of me when I cannot.


Have a beautiful Monday!




Brother H.

Watch this, Mommy!

Today is Mother's Day.  I would love to go visit my mama today, but it's a long way to the cemetery and I don't currently have (legal) wheels.  Still, it's a good day to pay tribute and tell you some of the things about Mama that are in my heart.


Mama graduated from her mortal probation on January 16, 2009.  She had been in a coma in ICU for most of the last two days of her life here.  It's interesting to note that she chose that particular day to leave us. Had she gone on either of the previous two days, either my brother or sister would have had life-long reminders of her passing on their birthdays for the rest of their lives.


That was mama - considerate to the end.


Whenever I think of mama, I think of all things good and beautiful.  She was a kind woman - one who lived the gospel of Jesus Christ to the end.  It was sad in the last several years of her life knowing how dearly she loved to congregate with the Saints on Sundays, but not being able to attend her worship meetings.  Still, she never lost faith.


When I was very small, I would play in the backyard of our home in Hunter, and occasionally call out - "Watch this, mommy!" as I did something particularly acrobatic or daring.  And she always did.  Whether she was doing dishes in the kitchen or weeding the garden, she always took time to look and watch whatever I was doing to impress her.  That kind of attention means the world to any child, and especially to this little boy.


As I grew older, there came a time in my life (as I suppose it does in many of our lives), when I was embarrassed to be seen with her.  I regret I felt that way, but knowing that nearly all teenagers put their parents through that stage of awkwardness helps soothe my conscience a little.  Yes, there were times when I asked her to drop me off down the street from a friend's house or a block away from the school.  But looking back, I can honestly say that I was proud to have Marian Lund Hofheins as my mama, and I was proud to be her boy.


It wasn't until the very end that I accepted her calling me the baby of the family.  Though deep down inside, I was and always had been a mama's boy, I would never freely admit it.


Funny how the passage of time and the death of mama has brought me back to the point of wanting to do something silly or profound and say, "Watch this, mommy!"


I am now proud to carry the titles she lovingly gave me:


Mama's boy
Baby of the family
Jamie


I trust that she is up there, in the Paradise part of the Spirit World and is indeed watching over me.  I know she is helping me in ways that she could not possibly help had she still been here in that frail body so full of pain and anguish and confusion.  I believe with all my heart that she has been and continues to be rewarded for the fine example of Christian charity she actively showed throughout her life.


And, perhaps most importantly of all, I know that whatever I am doing, all I have to do is think, "Watch this, mama!"


And she will stop whatever she's doing, look out her window in Paradise, and smile.


I love you, Mama.  Happy Mother's Day.




Brother H.

The Lord Found Me Again

They found me again.  But this time it was a different companionship.  And I had a different attitude.  Maybe I was prepared.

It's been snowing here this morning.  Usually I go out the side door to smoke, but there's no shelter from the weather there.  So, I was standing on the front landing watching the usually-beautiful but this late in spring annoying snow, when two figures appeared and came down the stairs.  I thought (and actually said it out loud), "Uh oh. Here they come again!"

But this time I was smiling when I said it.  I really was glad to see them.

We chatted for a few minutes.  I found out one elder is from Washington State and the other is from Florida.  Both of them also hope for warmer weather soon.

I put out my cigarette and one of the elders asked if I wanted to quit.  Before I could stop myself, I said, "Desperately!"

He said the mission has a stop smoking program and they would be happy to come by another time to help me - to teach it to me.

I named a day and a time when I figured my roomies wouldn't be here and invited them back.

And, yes, I would have invited them inside, but they were here to see someone in the apartment across from me.


Seems the Lord is trying to get my attention.  He has it.  Time to move forward.  The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, right?  I am taking baby steps.  For the past few days I have begun and ended my day both with prayer and reading from the Book of Mormon.  I wish I could tell you how good that feels. The Spirit has been with me more and more.


I've missed Him.


Have a beautiful Tuesday - even if it is snowing where you are.




Brother H.
 

But Behold, I mistake

This morning, I felt like a jerk. I acted like Amukek when he told the people of Ammonihah:

"I never have known much of the ways of the Lord, and his mysteries and marvelous power. I said I never had known much of these things; but behold, I mistake, for I have seen much of his mysteries and his marvelous power; yea, even in the preservation of the lives of this people. 

"Nevertheless, I did harden my heart, for I was called many times and I would not hear; therefore I knew concerning these things, yet I would not know; therefore I went on rebelling against God, in the wickedness of my heart..."  (Alma 10:5-6)

Early this morning, there was a knock at our door.  I was the only one awake and I called through the door asking who was there.  "The missionaries", they called out.  I opened the door and let them in.  I asked them to talk quietly because there were others sleeping in the apartment.

Now, you know me, right?  I love missionaries.  It was missionaries who saved me in so many ways.  I admire them for giving up so much time and travel to wherever they may be called - and at their own expense - to teach the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.

But that isn't how I acted this morning.

Yes, I let them in.  Yes, I gave them water because they had been riding their bikes and were thirsty.  But I have to admit, I worried about what my roommates would think if they knew I had let the elders into the apartment.  They are both non-LDS and, well, they sort of make fun of my faith at times.  I can handle that.  That's what happens when you live "in the world".  I knew that when I moved in with them.

The elders asked some pretty pointed questions - and I believe they were following the Spirit when they did so.  I, however, was listening to another spirit altogether.  I was taking counsel from my fears, worrying that my roommates would wake up and walk in on us.

Now, what's wrong with that picture?

I'll get to that in a minute.

The elders kindly asked what it would take to get me to go back to church.  I told them I have no plans whatsoever to go back.  They asked if I would go just once, long enough to take the sacrament. I told them no.


But the whole time they were here, asking these divinely inspired, heart-piercing questions, and the whole time I was doing all I could to shut them down and wishing they would leave, I was dying inside.  I wanted to open up.  I wanted to tell them what was really in my heart.  I wanted to bear testimony to them that I knew that what they had spoken was exactly right on; that I still know and believe in the restored gospel.  I wanted to share with them my own conversion story and how very much I rely on Jesus Christ, even now (or especially now) that I'm inactive.

But I didn't.

I let them do almost all the talking.  I let my fear of what my roommates would think dictate my words and actions.  I let myself down and I let God down.  I feared man (roommates) more than I feared the Lord and His authorized representatives that He sent to me.

Before they left, they asked if there was anything they could do for me.  I asked them to pray for me when they got home.  They then asked if they could have a prayer.  Yes, right here in the apartment.  I am happy to say I was happy to have them pray.

After they left, I felt awful.  I went outside and thought about the whole experience.  I silently prayed, asking God to forgive me.  It was only then that I felt someone speaking to my spirit.

"This is your home, too.  If you want to have the missionaries come in, you have that right".

How true.

Hopefully the next time the missionaries come knocking, I will be a little more courageous and at least let them sit down to drink their water.

May you have a blessed and Happy Easter and remember that now as with Christmas, Jesus is the reason for the season.


Brother H.

Consistent Gratitude

Photo ©2011 James Hofheins. All Rights Reserved. For information: artbyjameshofheins@gmail.com

It's been some time since I've posted.  I apologize for the wait.

I have a cousin who lives in Nevada and every morning she sends me and others a text message outlining five things she is grateful for that day.  When I read her message this morning, a very strong impression came to me.

The importance of daily gratitude.

My cousin has it right.  She not only feels grateful, she acknowledges it and shares it with others.  How many mornings do I wake up and, at least mentally, grumble about my pain, my problems and what I don't have?  I have so much to be grateful for!

For the most part, I have good health.  I have friends who support me, who appreciate me and who go out of their way to let me know.  I have family who love me, regardless of my sins and mistakes.  I have a roof over my head.  I have food both in my cupboards and in my belly.  And most of all, I have a God who is merciful, wise, kind and benevolent.

How can I not be grateful?

I will now endeavor to show my gratitude to Him and to others on a more consistent basis.  I won't be perfect at it, but I am, after all, only human.

Thank you for reading today's blog post.  I am grateful for you.

Brother H.

The Blessings Continue

Photo ©2011, James Hofheins. All Rights Reserved

Today has been a very busy day.  Now, what I'm about to say, I want you to know I say without boasting.  I cannot boast of tender mercies the Lord provides me.  As King Benjamin said in the famous "seminary scripture", Mosiah 2:17, "And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God."

Being in the service of the Master is an honor, and He has provided me some opportunities to serve today.

As you may know, I was privileged to be a part of the "Find Susan" social media blitz just over a year ago.  I was part of a well-organized team of folks (the friends and family of Susan Cox Powell) who put together and executed a plan to get the word out about her disappearance.  We still have not found her, but we have not given up, either.

This afternoon, I received an email from someone who is involved in finding another missing person.  Because I don't have authority to publicly talk about it, I can't identify the case right now, but she asked for advice on how to do a social media blitz to help find the missing person.  That she asked me for advice and help is truly an honor.

I was really surprised when she asked how much I charge for doing so.  I had not thought about and would not think about charging to help an agonizing family find their loved one.

I don't know where they go from here, but I hope the information I was able to provide is helpful, and of course, I am willing to continue to help.

I have also been involved in helping a start-up with some brand management through social media.  This has also kept me pretty busy today.  I'm really grateful that the Lord allows me to share what I can to help others with anything I may know something about.  And who knows?  Perhaps it will turn into something full time where I can help a paying company or cause in the future?

Finally, and I hesitate to mention this because it could appear as boasting, I was honored to help a long-distance friend, and in the process, help myself.  She recently lost a dear friend of hers and wanted to talk about it.  I think she helped me more, however, because the death of her friend and the death of my brother Mark five years ago, had some uncanny similarities.  In talking to her about my brother's death, it lifted me somehow.  It brought back some really good memories of Mark.  It left me feeling lighter and closer to both my friend and my brother.  I hope that anything I told her has helped lift her burden.

I know it lifted mine.

Brother H.

Good Blessings!

Photo ©2011, James Hofheins. All Rights Reserved

Good blessings.  This is a phrase used often in my family, especially among siblings.  I first heard it from my sister-in-law (who I really consider a sister without hyphens).  She told me that she says "good blessings" instead of "good luck" in matters spiritual and religious, because when you think about it, luck has little to do with our heaven-guided lives.

I have been the recipient of many good blessings of late.  You've heard the phrase, "my cup runneth over"?  My cup has been running over so much lately that not even the Bounty paper towel guy would be up to the task of cleaning my table.

At the end of this week, I will have a place to live.  My niece and her girlfriend are taking me in and I will have a bedroom of my own.  Sure different than sleeping on a couch or the floor with couch cushions for, well, cushioning.

Also, I learned this weekend that some of my black and white photos from Missouri may be featured in a local art magazine.  It's a start-up, so I feel doubly blessed that they would consider me for an early issue.  They also want to do a piece on me and my thinking behind the photos I took.  Wow.  I didn't see this one coming, and I am so, so grateful even to be considered.  For more information, you can email artbyjameshofheins@gmail.com

Finally, I ran into an old friend who used to boss me around.  No, that's not right.  She used to be my boss, and a kind one at that.  We've been talking, renewing our friendship.  It sure feels good to be remembered in a positive way from a decade ago.

On a side-note, yesterday (Sunday) wrapped up General Conference.  What a strong spirit there was!  I love hearing the words of God through His prophets, apostles and other inspired leaders.  Most notably, I am grateful for the continued, constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. Even when I mess up.

I certainly don't deserve these very tender mercies.  But that's what mercy is all about, isn't it?  We don't deserve it.

But we sure count on it.

I hope you have a wonderful Monday.  Good blessings.

Brother H.

Traveling Light - Day 2

So, the other day I told you about a really great book by Max Lucado.  I also told you that his book inspired me to make some changes, which I've been doing.  The changes were actually pretty simple, but with profound effects.

What I did was lay some really heavy baggage at the foot of the Cross of Calvary.  Of course I did so metaphorically, but if it helps you to do the same, let me tell you exactly how I did it.

First, I closed my eyes and opened a prayer - sort of like you'd click the "Compose" button on your email program.  I addressed Heavenly Father and asked for His help and strength to give up some particularly unwieldy burdens: Guilt. Shame. Lust. Fear. My current living situation which was completely up in the air.  My health - intense back pain, diabetes, skin cancer.

Then, with my eyes still shut, I put the picture in my mind of me lugging all this luggage to the foot of the Cross where Jesus was cruelly crucified.  I left it there, took a last look, and walked away.


An important part of that prayer I had opened to compose was asking specifically for strength and wisdom to leave it all there at Christ's feet.  I told Father that I know what happens when I try to do things my way and worry about stuff.  What happens is like when a kitten gets ahold of a skein of yarn.  It just gets all messed up, and quickly so.  I told Him that when I leave things alone and trust - really trust - things work out so much better.


So, here are some of the results of leaving my baggage at the Cross.


I was able to get in to see my family physician who referred me to an increasingly frustrating pain clinic two years ago.  Despite my family doc's reluctance to treat my pain back then, she is happy to do so now.  The pain clinic didn't seem to understand my propensity to become addicted to narcotics.  My family doctor does.  She cares.  She even told me she was happy to see me again and had missed treating me.


How much better can it be with someone you trust your life to?


Something else has happened, and rapidly.  


If you've been following my posts on Facebook, you may know that I've been really worried about where to live.  I can't stay with dad long-term, and unless he needed round the clock help, I wouldn't want to.  I have little money to spare, and all I couldn't tell anyone who asked where I was going next.


You can imagine this worry was one that was really difficult to leave at the Cross and not take back.  I was tempted to pick it back up, turn it over in my hands, and try to find the solution.  I've never been good at solving Rubik's Cubes, and certainly not housing situations with no money.


Well, yesterday, my niece made an incredible offer.  She wants me to take the spare bedroom in a place they move into on April 8.  I won't even need to pay rent right away!


I am incredibly grateful to a loving, caring and benevolent Father in Heaven who truly watches over me and takes care of me in every needful thing.  I'm also very grateful that He has replaced my doubt, fear and anxiety with the Peace that comes only through the love and grace of Christ Jesus.


Try laying down your burdens.  You will surely find His help just when you need it.


Just like I am finding.


Thanks for reading!


Brother H.

 

Confession of a Living Man

I have a confession to make.

For the longest time I have wanted to die.  Wait! Before you comment that I need to call the Suicide Hotline or call 9-1-1 on my behalf, let me explain.

I have no suicidal wishes, and this isn't a "death wish" in the classic sense of the phrase.  What I mean is that I have sometimes felt an overpowering Homesickness that makes me anxious to finish my mortal mission and, well, return Home to my mama, my brother and especially to my God.

But something changed today.

I have been reading a really great book by Max Lucado.  It's called, "Traveling Light, Releasing the Burdens You Were Never Meant to Bear - The Promise of Psalm 23"

I don't know Max, but I have decided to buy every book he's ever written.  He is what some Mormons would call a Mainstream Christian.  I just call him a fantastic writer who has upped my desire to be a better Christian by a factor of ten.  What insights he has given me in my own journey back Home!

Oh, I mentioned that something has changed.  Yes, and thank you, Max.

While reading his chapter on Homesickness (the same kind I referenced above), I realized I had been thinking about Home in the wrong way.  Max had previously touched on some other issues with which I relate very well.  The baggage of pain, of guilt, of disappointment and hurt.  I've carried this baggage for too long, and I suspect you have too.

So, tonight, I changed a prayer.  Prior to tonight, I had let Heavenly Father know that I am ready to come Home when He's ready for me.  Tonight, I changed that to letting Him know that I am completely unaware of when my mission here will end, and then I asked Him to help me stop thinking about it and instead actually live the rest of my days.

Today, I no longer care if my mission continues for another minute or another 50 years.  If I can live during that time, if I can serve others and help others find meaning in their own lives, then whatever time I have left will be well spent.

Today, I want to live.

I have, as Max has suggested, dropped my baggage of guilt, shame, hurt, lust, pain, loneliness and disappointment at the Cross of Calvary.

Thanks, Max, for teaching me to Travel Light.

Brother H.

New Horizons

In my last post, I told you about the miracle of two friends coming to my financial rescue.  Well, the miracles continue.

As you may know, the management of the Apartments where dad lives told me I need to leave.  I am to be out by Tuesday at latest.

The money I received really reduced the stress level, but I wasn't so sure I wanted to go stay in the Bishop's Closet again.  It's a great resource when needed, but it's one step above the homeless shelter.  Not that there's anything wrong with being homeless, I just prefer not to be.

A few posts ago, I told you about my nephew, Jason.  He and his sweet family have been visiting family here in Utah.  Tomorrow they leave for Missouri.  They're taking back a few extra pounds of luggage - and me.  I don't know how long I'll be there, but it will be nice to get out and see the country.  And it will be really nice to be with them.

The Lord was involved in this, too.  Again, last minute, me worrying, Heavenly Father soothing my fears and preparing the way.

I do worry about dad.  I hope my sibs and his grandchildren and friends can help pick up the slack and come see him.  A lot.  Keep him company.  Soothe his fears.

This will be the last post for a few days or more.  I'm going to enjoy the trip.  And the destination.  May God be with you til we meet again.

Family.  Isn't it about.... time?

Brother H.

Angels From Across the Oceans

Today, I am offering prayers of gratitude, for that is all there is room for in my heart.

Last night, as I was preparing for bed, I remembered my new bishop's counsel to get on my knees and pray, evening and morning.  I had been praying already, but not on my knees.  I had not been showing humility or submissiveness to His will.

Last night I did.  And in that prayer I offered Him my will, as best as an imperfect being can do.  I told Him that I trusted Him, that I knew He was in charge and would lead me through my present difficulties.  Afterward, as I lay in bed, I felt again an overwhelming peace.  I knew that He was, right then, answering my prayers.  I felt that He truly can see over the walls that seem to stand in my way.

When I got up this morning and checked my email, I saw that a good friend from across the oceans had sent me a message.  When I opened and read it, I was stunned.

This woman and her husband - a couple I have never laid eyes on in this life - had sent me money via Western Union.  Enough to get into the Bishop's Closet or elsewhere, and a little bit more.

You know who you are - I just wish you knew the depth of my gratitude for being instruments in His hands.  Of being His angels on His errand to help a struggling friend.  For this, and for our friendship, I love you both.

They have asked for no repayment, only that I pay it forward, which I will happily do.

The Lord truly blesses all those who try to do His will as best they can.  Trust in Him.  He will always answer you.  Sometimes He answers prayers directly.  Other times He puts people into your life who are both willing and able to help.

Trust.

A tiny word with life-changing implications.

Brother H.

Highlights of a Great Week

This has been a great week for me, setbacks and roadblocks notwithstanding.  Some highlights:

Yesterday while I was outside in the parking lot of the Senior Apartment Complex a car drove up and parked.  I didn't recognize the woman driving, but the passenger was someone who lives here.  She's a Bosnian refugee who has been here for 11 years.  I wouldn't say she's elderly, but she is about 15 years older than me.

The driver introduced herself as Amy - a friend of the passenger.  Amy had a thick Bosnian accent but spoke English well.

She pointed to the Awesomemobile I was leaning against (a 1980's stationwagon sans the awesome paneling) and asked if it was my car.  I told her it was my dads.  Then, the passenger began talking and Amy translated.  They wanted to know if I could drive her to Lowe's to get a sheet of particle board and have it cut.  Amy's car was obviously too small to put the lumber in.  I told her I'd be happy to help.

So, today, I picked up my Bosnian friend at 3:00 sharp and we drove the mile or so to the hardware store.  We both chatted back and forth, not understanding a single word the other was saying, but it was fun!

At the hardware store, my friend produced a slip of paper with the exact dimensions of what she needed and the workers took over.  We were in and out in no time and then I helped her install the board under her couch cushions.  Apparently a board under the cushions keeps them from slipping off the sofa.  Who knew?

After that, my friend asked me to meet her outside again in about 15 minutes and I had the opportunity to drive her to the bank.

I have to say, this was a highlight of my day - my week, even.  At one point, my friend offered to pay me but I thought, "why?"  I had the chance to help out someone who has been very friendly and welcoming to me, and I got to learn a few extra words in Bosnian.

***

Another Highlight - 

On Monday and Tuesday, I got to see my nephew Jason, his wife, Corie and their kids Kyle and Kylie - along with my niece, Dena and her girlfriend Marisa.  I hadn't seen Jason in a decade, and had never met Corie or their kids.  It was really great to see them and catch up with them.  I'm really proud of Jason.  He's a volunteer firefighter in his town of Fairview, Missouri.  The photo above is of him fighting a fire.  Not to be left out, I'm also proud of Dena and love her and all my brother Mark's kids.  They're good people.  They've been through a lot - more than I could take, for sure.

***

Not such a fun Highlight - 

Also on Tuesday, my dad told me that Gary, the manager of the Senior Apartments told him it was time for me to go.  When dad came in the apartment, he began that conversation with, "Do you want the bad news or the bad news?"  Kinda sucks when your dad uses your words and phrases against you =)

But you know, as soon as dad told me that I needed to leave, I felt a peace and calm I can't explain in human terms.  It just felt right.  I decided then that it must be what the Lord wants for me.  I have no idea where I'll land or where I'll go next week, but I know that as long as I trust in the Lord (or try my best to, anyway), the result will be what He wants.  What He wants is what I want.

A couple of hurdles cropped up immediately.  I had made a payment arrangement with a bill collector to withdraw payments for a bill every other week, but the agent made a mistake and withdrew this week, too.  That left me with a whopping $28 in my account.

Then, I called the Home Inn where I plan to go for a few weeks at least, and they said they had a room immediately.  Since I want to pay by the week, I confirmed the weekly rate - $80/week.  The manager said yes, that's the rate, but they have a policy that they require at least 2 weeks payment up front.  This threw me off, so I sent a quick text to my former bishop who owns the Home Inns and he said yes, that's their policy and no, he won't intervene for me for an exception.

So, I'm not quite sure what to do.  But, it's not up to me.  When the Lord counseled (commanded?) to trust not in the arm of flesh, I believe He was including my own flesh.  I need to trust in Him and Him alone.  When I try to take over, well, let's just say things don't go well most of the time.  What's the scripture?  Oh, yeah.

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding."  (Proverbs 3:5)

That sounds pretty clear to me.  It's simple.  Not easy.  But simple.

***

Today, I had the opportunity to go to lunch with my brother, Tim.  So good to spend an hour or so with one of the great heroes of my life.

***

The final Highlight so far this week -

I met with my bishop this week.  We had a good talk.  Even though I'm moving, he said we can keep my records in the ward here.  I also committed to attending church and paying my tithing.  He had so many good things to say about my dad - things I already know.  The bishop also said he would give me a calling as soon as he could, and highly encouraged me to get involved in serving others.  I like the idea.  And, though this was the first time I met him, I liked him immediately.  He's pretty young (I would be surprised to find out he's had his 30th birthday yet), but I know he's connected with the Lord.

So, those are the highlights.  It's been a week of ups and downs, but I'm choosing to trust in the Lord (as His ways are not mine) and focus on the ups.

Hope you're having a good week.

Brother H.

Finding Your Personal Ministry Please Help

If you know me, you know that I am very mortal.  I don't always do the right things, and sometimes I don't do anything.  I struggle with my natural self as much as anyone.  However, I still like to try and do things that benefit others.

I am working on a new writing project about finding your personal ministry, and I'm asking for your help.


If you or someone you know helps others (or at least tries), I'd love to hear from you or them.


A personal ministry can be something very simple.  For example, every morning, my dad prays that God will send to him just one person who needs his help.  And then he goes looking for that person.


A few years ago, I tried an experiment asking my friends to pray for two strangers every single day.  I tried doing the same thing.  I rarely knew the outcome in the lives of those strangers, but I sure felt the peace and reassurance from the Lord knowing that I was trying to make a difference.


Others use their past trials and experiences in their informal personal ministries.  Neal A. Maxwell used his experience of having cancer to help bear up others who were similarly stricken.  He could uniquely relate to others who were also having to endure chemotherapy and the knowledge that they had a quite terminal disease.


Some ministries are far more reaching, like Mother Teresa ministering to the poor of Calcutta and other places.  But more, I suspect, are like the above mentioned.  Small and simple things that help others in a very quiet, unpublicized ways.


So, here's what will help me help others find their personal ministries - if you do something, anything, that helps others, please email me with a short message of what you do.  If you know of someone else who helps others, I'd like to hear about them, too.  If I can gather enough stories, anecdotes and ideas, I can publish them into a book. You may remain as anonymous as you like for the actual publication, but let's discuss.


Please email me at findingyourministry@gmail.com and let's work together to help others who so need our help.  Oh, and please pass this on!


Thanks for reading!


Brother H.