Finding Your Personal Ministry Please Help

If you know me, you know that I am very mortal.  I don't always do the right things, and sometimes I don't do anything.  I struggle with my natural self as much as anyone.  However, I still like to try and do things that benefit others.

I am working on a new writing project about finding your personal ministry, and I'm asking for your help.


If you or someone you know helps others (or at least tries), I'd love to hear from you or them.


A personal ministry can be something very simple.  For example, every morning, my dad prays that God will send to him just one person who needs his help.  And then he goes looking for that person.


A few years ago, I tried an experiment asking my friends to pray for two strangers every single day.  I tried doing the same thing.  I rarely knew the outcome in the lives of those strangers, but I sure felt the peace and reassurance from the Lord knowing that I was trying to make a difference.


Others use their past trials and experiences in their informal personal ministries.  Neal A. Maxwell used his experience of having cancer to help bear up others who were similarly stricken.  He could uniquely relate to others who were also having to endure chemotherapy and the knowledge that they had a quite terminal disease.


Some ministries are far more reaching, like Mother Teresa ministering to the poor of Calcutta and other places.  But more, I suspect, are like the above mentioned.  Small and simple things that help others in a very quiet, unpublicized ways.


So, here's what will help me help others find their personal ministries - if you do something, anything, that helps others, please email me with a short message of what you do.  If you know of someone else who helps others, I'd like to hear about them, too.  If I can gather enough stories, anecdotes and ideas, I can publish them into a book. You may remain as anonymous as you like for the actual publication, but let's discuss.


Please email me at findingyourministry@gmail.com and let's work together to help others who so need our help.  Oh, and please pass this on!


Thanks for reading!


Brother H.

Trusting in the Arm of Flesh

I chose the title of this post because it very recently hit me - the solution to all my angst, stress, pressure and - well - all the negative feelings of late.

I need to stop trusting in the arm of flesh.  This means people.  Humans.  Mortals.  Those whose spirits are currently adorned with flesh.  I need to stop trusting in flesh I've relied on for nearly a half-century.  My own.

When this idea came to me, it was more than an idea.  I knew it was pure inspiration.  Pure revelation.  Relevant to all I've been dealing with.  God alone knows my heart, my intentions, my sins and my efforts to repent of my sins.  He alone knows why I am the way I am and how much of who I am is changeable according to my mission and His will, plan and timing.

Despite the beautiful song by Frank Sinatra, I cannot continue trying to do it my way.  When I do, I fail.

I wish I could take the jumbled up feelings I've been experiencing and somehow download it just so others who are trying to figure me out could better understand the challenges I'm facing.  The transgressions, sins, mistakes, etc., some are the normal garden-variety of things we all face from time to time.  But in each of us, I believe, there are things we deal with that others who have not dealt with just could not understand.

If you've ever been addicted to nicotine, have you ever tried to explain to someone who has never smoked what it's like to try and quit?

If you've never been addicted to nicotine, has a smoker ever tried to explain it to you?  Did you fully understand, or did you mentally roll your eyes and think, "Come on, it can't be that hard to quit"?

On the parts of both of you, there is a communication gap. You can explain it - you can listen to it - all day long.  But, unless there's an experiential relationship, you're both going to fail on some level.

Some members of my family know that besides nicotine, I have other addictions that I won't go into here.  I'm sure you wonder why I did what I did.  Hell, I wonder why I did what I did, too.  Any attempt to explain, I fear, would be taken by them as an alibi.  An excuse.  A way to explain away my behavior without taking honest responsibility.

However, I have been trying to figure it out and though I understand some of it, I don't understand it all.  I can tell you that, at the time at least, it was an overwhelming compulsion borne of events that happened years ago.  I can tell you how very sorry I am (and mean it with all my soul), but I sense that only time will heal these particular wounds.  I will not excuse myself.  I will not give an alibi.

One of the problems that gets in the way of healing on both sides of the issue is that some things we do to each other create great canyons of emotional distance.  We may still love each other, but trust needs time to be rebuilt.  Rome wasn't built in a day, and I am sure the trust I want to earn back could take years.

But it's not up to me.  And this is where that pure inspiration comes into play.

As much as I want the unconditional love, the forgiveness and the trust back from my family, that is simply out of my control.  That is something I absolutely cannot trust the arm of flesh to fix.  Not my flesh.  Not their flesh.

I can only trust my wise Heavenly Father to lead me (and sometimes carry me) down the path of repentance and to the cross of my Savior who both paid for these sins and suffered the hurt, disappointment and anger that family members may carry towards me.  He did this so that He could have the hands-on experience by feeling these exact feelings, exactly as they feel them, and I feel them.  Only with this hands-on experience is He able to walk us down our paths, and hopefully, back into the arms of each other.

***

On another note, as mentioned in a previous post, I was going to try my best to read from the Book of Mormon at least once a day - one chapter a day.

Today I read the 4th chapter of Helaman.  There are some real life parallels for me there that relate to the theme of this post.  By relying in my own arm of flesh, I have essentially been telling God, "Hey, I can do this.  I'll let you know if I need You."

That sounds like boastful pride to me.  According to the record in this chapter, when we boast in our own strength, He leaves us in our own strength.  And justifiably so.  

Since turning things over to Him and not taking them back; since reading daily from this life-changing book (The Book of Mormon), I have begun to feel so much peace.  For the first time in weeks, I have really felt the Holy Ghost.  It's amazing to me that He knows I'm so far from perfect, and yet sends this beautiful member of the Godhead to me.

Now is the time for me to let go and let God.

Thank you for your support, your prayers and your encouraging comments.  I appreciate you.

Brother H.

Who Am I?

When I was a teenager, there was a traveling LDS show called Saturday's Warrior.  I realize not everyone liked it and now I suspect fewer have heard of it.

But I both loved it and still remember the messages.

One in particular was a song sung by the character Jimmy Flinders - "Who Am I?"

This question has dogged me for years until in 2003 I began finding answers at, of all places, Historic Temple Square in Salt Lake City.  The sister missionaries kindly challenged me to find out for myself.  I read and re-read the Book of Mormon - Another Testament of Jesus Christ. I allowed the sisters to continue challenging me.  I allowed the Spirit into my life and He changed my life.

But something's happened.  A lot of somethings, really.  I have fallen away.  I have become inactive.  I sit here sipping my coffee, taking a few minutes here and there to step out for a smoke.

It is these (and other) sins and transgressions that make me want to stay anonymous in this blog.  I want to be upfront and honest with you.  I shall not confess my sins to you.  As should be, they are between me and the Lord, and if egregious enough, then they are between me, the Lord and my priesthood authority.   I also hope that my honesty gives you a measure of hope and a knowledge that you are not alone in your struggles to be good and righteous and acceptable to the Lord and His Church.  Whatever you do - do not give up on you or on the Lord.

I hope you'll follow me along (and comment when you feel like it) as I try to discover what happened and how I can return, for I will return.  Know this, brother and sister, you are loved by God, regardless of your current level of faith and faithfulness.  He knows you and He loves you regardless of how you feel about Him or about yourself.

I don't know how often I will post, but I hope enough to give you hope, but not so much to bore or overwhelm you.

Brother H.