Took a big step. Confessed to someone who I hurt. Admitted I had lied before. It doesn't make it all better - doesn't make it all go away, but it's a start.
The person I confessed to was extremely gracious, something that doesn't suprise me, because that's the way she is. She's had her own tough road to repentance and she's done well. She inspires me.
I know the steps I need to take from here, and they won't be easy steps by any means, but the Lord has been answering a specific prayer. He's been softening and breaking my heart. Helping me not be so afraid of the repentance process. Healing and binding up my self-inflicted wounds. In short, He's been doing what He promised He would do if I would only do my part.
I really don't know what's ahead in our family or in our family dynamics. I continue to hope and pray that in addition to healing me and the others as individuals, He will heal our family relationships.
I take full responsibility for what I've done. My actions have hurt others. Although I knew there would be consequences, I did what I did anyway. There are no more words I can say to convey my deep sorrow to my family.
All I can do is to hope they accept that I am trying to move forward, hand-in-hand with the Lord. Time may heal all wounds, as they say, but I'm earnestly hoping that the wounds will heal sooner rather than later.
And so I pray...
Brother H.
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